Raven Revenge: Ariel Hope Chronicles 4 Page 7
“Thank you, ma’am. Yes, he became our enemy and, well, he was a royal pain in the butt at the best of times, but, he redeemed himself in the end. It is all that matters. Instead of feeling sorrow, I will be able to smile at his memory.”
She smiles at Captain Hope; Poppy really is a proper top First Officer.
“Ma’am, I have been thinking, about the Raven, I mean. If we are now to take over as its permanent crew, we could do with an AI onboard.”
Ariel stares at her.
Alex stares at her.
Their mouths frame the word ‘Harriet’.
Ariel wants to roll on the floor laughing, but for a Raven captain, that would be as unseemly as a pig wearing a prom dress.
“But what an opportunity to replace the bolshy, snarky, difficult bane of my life!”
“Ah, Ariel, for sure she’s a pain at times but you know, she’s brighter than you give her credit for, and she’s ripe for a few giggles in the most inappropriate of situations!”
“Okay, okay, I know, well, I guess I’m the boss and that but let’s have a show of hands for Harry as Raven’s new AI.”
With his arm raised high, Charles announces the result.
“So, that is a unanimous vote of confidence then!”
“Unanimous?”
As Ariel says the word, she’s surprised, and, unexpectedly a little delighted, to see her own arm raised, straighter and higher than the rest.
Chapter Twelve
Bump Minor
In his spacious, oval office, Reginald welcomes Captain Stevie Lo and First Officer Yvette, with an overenthusiastic smile that smacks as ‘I have a proposition which could save me a ton of computer work if you would gracefully accept though there is nothing really in it for you’.
“Ah, sorry to drag you away from Beta 4 but there has been no sighting so far of Mr Whistler’s Raven so I thought you could perhaps spare me a couple of Bump Minor minutes?”
Stevie raises an eyebrow while Yvette just looks...yes, lovely.
“The, erm, unfortunate incident, erm with that scruffy gang at the mini medical centre. I was wondering if you would be so gracious as to put it down to a little misunderstanding. I have, of course, no vested interest in them as people, but, well, their so-called leader has expressed remorse at his gang members’ actions.”
Stevie, remembering where he is, responds in a far calmer way than his heart demands.
“With respect, Reginald, that scruffy lot were quite happy to attempt to kill us at StarTapped Mountain, and now a 2nd time, here; what will prevent them from attempting a hat trick and succeeding next time? I know they’re not the brightest people I’ve ever met but we cannot be looking over our shoulders the rest of our lives!”
“Ah, now that is where the deal comes in! With many tears and much grovelling from Billy Duke, I have given them an option. Either, they spend the rest of their days in a Bump Minor prison or they live out their lives serving the community, running a bar pub.”
Stevie’s unconvinced.
“Do you have a prison on Bump Minor?”
“Erm, well, no, not at the moment but if you refuse the deal, well, erm, we shall have to build one, at great expense and inconvenience.”
“And what is to stop them just stealing a ship and flying away when they feel like it?”
“Ah, I thought about that already! As of now, the entire gang have been fitted with trackers that will alert us if they approach any area suitable for launching a spacecraft from.”
Yvette, in her lovely singy songy voice, has a valid question.
“With respect, Reginald, it is all very well to give the Space Dogs a mere telling off, but how are we, the victims, to be compensated? They tried to kill us, and I am sure you will agree, that is no small matter!”
“Ah, I thought of that too! I have arranged for Billy Duke and his straggly friends to issue a public apology to both of you, in the open air, where their words of sorrowful regret will reach the maximum audience. Not only that, my new dear friends, but you will enjoy honorary status at The Wary Sheep, with free beer and sausages for the rest of your days!”
Yvette challenges the offer.
“But, Reginald; I only drink champagne!”
“Then give them the recipe and it shall be yours!”
“It is made from the finest grapes, using ancient methods from France!”
“Then, my dear Yvette, they will have to work extra hard to accommodate you, won’t they?”
Stevie and Yvette look at each other, their minds working together until they reach a satisfactory decision.
“I have discussed your offer with Yvette and here are our amended terms, Reginald.”
“But you only looked at each other!”
“Yvette and I are able to communicate in alternative ways.”
“How extraordinary; please tell, what are your demands, in order to ratify this agreement?”
“By the way, what is The Wary Sheep?”
“It was the name of their favourite bar pub on Earth, the place where they picked up their disabilities, falling off bar stools at world’s end. They want to recreate it here, without their favourite barmaid, Rusty Dawn, of course but there is very little I can do about that.”
“Okay. We accept your terms, with the added value of soft drinks being available in case of flying duties, and the production, via excellence in viticulture and viniculture, of a superior sparkling wine, not dissimilar to Yvette’s beloved champagne.”
Reginald rises to shake their hands.
Just one from each.
“In that case, we have a deal!”
Reginald looks at his astro-watch.
“Goodness me, look at the time; we must take up our battle stations before that tyrant Mr Whistler arrives to kidnap the pair of you! It is a sorry reality that it is unlikely your friends, including our own resident, Alex, could have escaped the dastardly trap set by Mr Whistler and Percy so we now must do what we can to prevent further damage. We will be waiting.”
*
Ariel addresses her tiny crew.
“Here is the plan. We cannot know if Percy has been overpowered or not as all communications to the Raven have now ceased. We must, therefore, prepare to land, ready to attack.”
Alex has a valid question.
“Ah for sure we need to be ready, Ariel but what if Percy’s been arrested and Bump Minor just decides to attack the Raven without warning?”
“It is a chance we will just have to take.”
Poppy has a better idea.
“Ma’am, may I suggest something?”
“Of course, Poppy, go ahead, love.”
“With Charles’s assistance, you could fly the Raven, while Alex and I take the cruiser and the fighter in as escorts; surely they will know then that we escaped the evil trap, without any need for communication at all.”
“And if Percy’s still in charge?”
“Then he will get the shock of his nasty little life!”
*
Ronald, elder Council member of Bump Minor and the twist of fate father of Percy, flies the luxurious pale blue Explorer Deluxe in controlled fury as he ponders the catastrophic actions of his wayward son.
This time, there will be only 1 outcome; the severest punishment available for treasonous behaviour and dastardly shenanigans; either life imprisonment in a jail that has yet to be built, or exile to the far reaches of the galaxy.
Exile will be cheaper.
As his face recovers from stupid speed, he zooms towards his home planet, determined to prevent any further embarrassment. Poor Alex and his friends; he had his nephew down as a future leader, a likeable lad, slightly dodgy on the fringes but at heart, a thoroughly decent fellow.
As the small but great planet comes into view, filling his soul with a heady mixture of love and sorrow, he immediately contacts Bump Minor Control.
“This is Ronald; I’m about to come in.”
“Affirmative, sir; good to have you back!”
<
br /> *
Reginald and Ronald wait, fingers hovering over laser ground to air weapons big red buttons as Control’s message slams through from next door.
“Gentlemen, Mr Whistler’s Raven is on course for Bump Minor; estimated time of arrival, 10 Bump Minor minutes.”
Ronald projects an authoritative voice which just bounces around the walls like a hypertensive squash ball.
“This is it, folks. Any signs of the captives onboard then we must hold our fire; there is only 1 target here and that is the infamous space tyrant, Mr Whistler. Anyone who can wipe that ridiculous luxurious moustache from his face gets a bumpy bonus!”
Reginald looks at Ronald with both eyebrows raised, tickling the burrows in his forehead.
“Thanks, Ronald but I already have enough money.”
“For anyone else then!”
“We’re the only ones here.”
“Concentrate, Reginald, this is our day!”
Control earns its money once again, spotting alien stuff.
“Gentlemen, I have some disturbing news.”
An agitated Ronald snaps at his alien spotters.
“Send the information through immediately; I need facts not broad sweeping statements!”
“The Raven has broken into 3 separate parts; I never knew it could do that!”
“It will be escort fighters, breaking away from the docking ports.”
“Negative; these don’t match, sir; they are coming into sight now...wait a Bump Minor second...almost there...there, I see them!”
“Control, I see them myself now, no need for any further commentary, thank you very much. The reason they do not match is 1 is a Beta cruiser, the other a Whistler fighter!”
He looks to Reginald in alarm.
“Those Whistler fighter pilots, Damien and Pedro; in your opinion, which side would they choose?”
“Difficult to say. The engineer said they were friendly enough but sprinted off in a hurry. It’s possible they went to the aid of Mr Whistler although 1 of the intended hostages was an ex Whistler fighter pilot; Poppy.”
Ronald strokes his chin, briefly wondering when his next batch of high quality razors will be flying in.
“This is too close to call. Reginald, attempt communication; I need to go for a wee, I cannot hold it any longer.”
“Yes, you go along; in these situations, it’s always best to be comfortable.”
“Yes, absolutely.”
As Reginald locates a communication signal, his fellow elder Council member limps off.
“Alien spaceship, you in the Raven. You are in Bump Minor airspace; identify yourselves!”
*
Ariel issues an order to the others.
“Hold your positions, either side of me; the communication screen just lit up. Can you hear me?”
“For sure, you’re loud and clear, Ariel! Only from the Raven though; there’s nothing coming from Control down there.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to them myself. If it’s obviously Percy, we’ll have no choice but to locate him and take the shot; stand by.”
“I can hear you ma’am; I am holding, finger on button just in case.”
Ariel stares at the screen as a middle-aged, tall man, almost bald, dressed in a smart dark suit, appears as if he’s in the next room.
Which of course, he’s not.
“This is Captain Ariel Hope, formerly of StarTapped Beta Academy, now proud owner of the Raven. Where is Percy Bump?”
A shocked Reginald mops his brow with his sleeve, leaving an oily stain.
“This is great news indeed, Captain Hope. Is everyone safe? What have you done with the infamous Mr Whistler?”
“I will answer your questions later. Is Ronald available please?”
“Erm, well, no, you see, he is in the, well, he is having a wee; he could not hold it any longer.”
“A likely story. You still haven’t answered my original question. Where is that toe rag, Percy?”
“It is true, Ronald is in the toilet; Percy is being held prisoner.”
“Then I must assume you are lying. I am aware that Ronald is at a conference over in Bounty, not here, having a wee or anything else for that matter.”
The sweat returns to Reginald’s already shiny forehead, an occasional bead falling to the floor like a droplet of rain.
“Please, believe me, it is true! I have heard of your reputation from accounts of the soon to be famous Battle of Minstrels Gate and I ask you to reconsider your position!”
A comfortable-looking Ronald appears from a back room.
“Ah, looks like a hostage. I wonder if she is being manipulated by Mr Whistler, hiding in the shadows?”
“I am no longer a hostage, I am Captain Ariel Hope of the Raven; who are you?”
“I am Ronald, elder Council member and uncle of Alex; where is he?”
“He is in the Beta cruiser but no air to land communication is possible right now.”
“A likely story; I need proof he is alive!”
“And I need proof you are Alex’s uncle!”
“I have an idea. Get him to ask me a question only I would know!”
Ariel flicks a switch.
“Alex, tell me something only your uncle would know.”
“Ah for sure, hold on please. Ah, yes, I have it! Ask him if he knows who broke the window in Reginald’s shed, 6 years ago! It was me by the way but no one else knows; my uncle blamed it on a mini ice storm.”
Ariel asks the question.
Ronald looks at Reginald, who returns the look, his left eyebrow raised.
“It was not Alex who broke that window, it was caused by a mini ice storm!”
“Alex, I think he’s lying; he blames the ice.”
“Ariel, tell him it’s okay, that I’m ready to accept responsibility and pay for the damage.”
“Think carefully about your answer, so called you reckon Ronald.”
He looks at Reginald with eyes full of sorrow.
“It is true and I am sorry I lied, my dear friend; I was trying to protect the young lad.”
Reginald huffs and puffs but accepts the apology.
“So now do you believe me, that I am the true uncle of Alex?”
“Very well; we shall prepare to land.”
*
From a locked room in a deserted hangar, Percy Bump stares through the grimy window, trying to make it cleaner with his sleeve. His heart thumping in his chest like a bass drum, he cannot wait to see the victorious look on the face of Mr Whistler as he steps from the Raven. Damien and Pedro must have claimed the other ships and returned with him to share in the glory. He will soon be free!
He sees Mr Whistler’s humanoid, Trevor, walk down the steps, his metallic head held high, ready to announce the arrival of his lord and master.
He can barely breathe, the tension stretching his neck like an uncomfortably stretched neck.
As Ariel Hope leaves the Raven, Percy Bump slumps to the hard, unforgiving ground in shock, realising his toe ragging days are well and truly over.
*
Ronald steps forward, clasping the hands of Ariel, a huge smile on his face.
“Thank you, my dear, for bringing my nephew safely home.”
“Ah for sure, she helped, you know but I can take care of myself!”
Ariel scans the faces, searching for her friends and colleagues.
From the back of a growing crowd of well-wishers, a pair of arms wave frantically.
As the 5 friends are reunited, Ariel introduces a new, welcome addition to the mini cosmic family.
“Stevie, Yvette, meet Charles, life-saver and extraordinarily all round good egg.”
“It is good to meet you and I trust you have fully recovered from your illnesses?”
Stevie Lo looks delighted as this fine metallic specimen angles his head slightly to the side.
Ariel play-punches Stevie’s shoulder.
“Oh, yes, the mysterious illnesses that almost got us all killed!�
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Stevie Lo laughs for the 1st time in ages, any remaining tension draining from his body like a correctly watered plant in a pot full of crocks and gravel.
“You mean our mysterious illnesses that resulted in you getting your hands on a spanking Raven Blue Class 1? Where is Mr Whistler, by the way?”
“He, erm, disappeared; he’d had enough of tyranny and dastardliness.”
“Ah, so you sent him into exile in just his pyjamas.”
“Erm, not exactly; he disappeared in a puff of smoke; he’s part of the fabric of the Universe now.”
Stevie’s serious for a moment.
“Ariel, remember that scruffy gang firing on us as we left StarTapped Mountain? They’re here.”
“What the...?”
“Don’t worry, it was their initial attempt to attack us in the mini medical centre that enabled us to overcome Percy, with Reginald’s help. They, erm, have apparently redeemed themselves.”
Reginald steps forward to announce the Space Dogs’ arrival.
“Ariel, the gang that attacked you on Earth, and again here, are required, as part of their punishment and rehabilitation, to offer a sincere and public apology to all of you affected by their atrocious behaviour. They also bring some good news.”
A bewildered Ariel stands riveted to the spot as Billy Duke and his 8 fellow gang members climb the short steps to a hastily erected podium.
Chapter Thirteen
As Ariel begins to make her way through the growing crowd, a light tug on her arm from a following Alex slows her enough to see the concerned look on his face.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to shoot them or anything, just making sure their speech is customised to my way of thinking, that's all!"
"Ah for sure that's cool I guess; Stevie's staying right at the back, I don't think he trusts himself too close to the Space Dogs yet."
"Yes, I heard about Billy Duke's vicious intentions towards Yvette; horrible, scruffy wannabe thug!"
"Well, let's see if the apology suffices; for sure it'll be a humiliation for them but better than serving a life sentence here on boring old Bump Minor!"
"Mm, well we'll see how boring it is when the beer flows and the sausages sizzle. You never had beer before, Alex?"
"For sure I heard something about it once from an old ancestor's tale of his old ancestor’s ancestor visiting Earth, in secret. He recounted the story of seeing a load of men falling out of a bar pub late at night, on the outskirts of some dog's butt of a town. He couldn't hide quick enough and was frightened they'd kill him but apparently they just rubbed their eyes, squinted at him, looked at each other and 1 said 'hahaha, seeing aliens now; better not tell the missus or she'll know how much grog I've had!' It was a lucky escape, for sure; that's if the story's true of course."